Thursday, May 28, 2009

How to be a minister....

Ten days after the election results are out, and the formation of the cabinet is delayed due to various parties and folks cashing on on IOU's , family avarice, and religion.....

Elected Children of MP's vying for a post,

Some folks in Delhi, favoring their dost,
Chief ministers in a huff,
We feel enough is enough,
Passing an exam must be compulsory for most

Choosing on religion, and merit unseen,
Votes , the final consideration has been,
Next come the states,
Wide open the floodgates,
This is bigger than any cabinet we've seen

Would you like to be a minister, tell me now,
No need to study, just learn how to bow,
No exams , no results,
Just follow political cults,
But stay away from those who follow Chairman Mao.....

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Handful of Love

This is what Shilpa Shetty says about her African Safari experience on her blog ....
"Fed ostriches and got pecked by one! And also fed a giraffe, they have the longest purple tongues, wrapped it around my hand, leaving its saliva all over it, eeow! But what fun" [Link to her Blog]


The tallest animal, the African Giraffe
Said 'Yaron, Mera dil to hai saaf'
He used his long purple tongue
Licked Shilpa's hands and sung
'My job just begun, not done even half'

Vivek

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Blogging at 97 : RIP

Spanish granny dubbed 'world's oldest blogger' dies (link)

Maria Amelia Lopez, who died on Wednesday, began blogging from her home in Galicia two years ago, winning a raft of fans with her eclectic mix of commentary and nostalgia infused with a sharp wit. She said ,""On December 23rd 2006, my grandson gave me a present, this blog when I was 95 years old ... and my life changed ... now, I can communicate and interact with the world.".......





Her grandson gifted her a blog in 2006,
And she picked up the techniques and tricks,
As 95 years og age,
Blogging page after page,
And the numerous comments gave her the kicks....




The worlds oldest, Maria Amelia Lopez,
And she Blogged for a total of 888 days,
She woke up the world,
Her opinions unfurled,
Set an example for us in so many ways...

At the age of 97, she is, no more, now
Her regular readers miss her and how!
So incisive her writing,
The wit was so biting,
All I can say, is simply, Oh Wow !......

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Pardon me, Say it again please....

Dr. Manmohan Singh [76] has chosen old ministers for his cabinet, with average age of 65!

He was waiting, he had got elected
PM called him up, and he said
'Rush to Delhi, Get ready
For swearing in, Old Buddy',
He shouted 'where is my hearing aid'!

Vivek

Monday, May 18, 2009

A SHOE FOR LUCK

(Today’s Mumbai Mirror reports how all the candidates who had shoes thrown at them by members of the public, won the elections. See link.)

Cinderella found a prince when she lost her shoe,
Our MP-s won the polls when they ducked a shoe,
Horse-shoes are age-old symbols of luck,
So, if you, too, want to make a fast buck,
Ask a well-wisher to throw his footwear at you.

Criminals up by 17%








150 tainted MPs in 15th Lok Sabha: Report (link)









Pay your taxes on time, and stand in a line,
Follow al the rules and you'll be just fine,
Dont treat govt as fools,
Obey the traffic rules,
Just slog daily from nine to nine....

But if you're a murderer, or a cheat,
You can fight for a parliament seat,
With a bad criminal case,
Get a halo behind your face,
And smile at the boss in the party meet.....

Criminals in the legislature,up by 17 percent,
I just wonder where all the decent types went,
I'm just wondering whether,
We can pack all crooks together,
And replace them with folks with some decent intent.......

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Circus :The aftermath


The circus is over, winners take a bow,
Statues and capes gone for a toss and how!
S0 on to some economic acrobatics,
The clowns will avoid the slapsticks,
The need is to sing together our Anthem now

Friday, May 15, 2009

Citizen Lament



Jayalalitha, resplendent in her cape so great,

Hopes the call from New Delhi will not be late,
What is now very clear,
Is she doesnt like Sonia,
But there are things that could alter this concept of hate....




Statues to the left and Statues to the right,

Leaning and towering, eighteeen feet in height,
And as UP looks at posts higher,
they realize it is all just Maya,
And her belief that her future in Delhi is so bright

So we go eastwards lest Mamata we forget ,
To beat the Left, we think she is just set,
But its interesting to learn,
To Mama Mia she may turn,
And we wonder how then she'll get along with the Left?

Manifestoes will adorn every party's face,
Lies will be stated with the most disgusting grace,
Ministers will be sworn,
More crooks will be born,
Making more money ? Let them count the ways.....

This game of power has sure become funny,
Everyone's so righteous, except about money,
Pockets being crammed,
Principles be damned,
It doesnt matter whether its Manmohan or Advani.....

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Criteria for selection



General Elections 2009 : candidates with Criminal Records, A comparative look
.(Link)







If you are pure,white and clear as snow,

You really dont stand a chance you know,
For a candidate in an election,
Must be a criminal for selection,
And must have at least 25 court cases to show

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Cleaning the mind





Judge asks accused to mop floor of hospital
(Link) Justice B Chandra Kumar, while granting anticipatory bail to a techie Dinesh Kumar in an eve teasing case, put a condition that he (the techie) should clean the floors of Gandhi General Hospital for a month.




If only, to his good senses he had paid heed,
The techie, would have not done this deed,
Troubled two girls from a bike,
Pulled dupattas and the like,
His brain deserting him in the hour of need....

He absconded , was traced, a court he had to face,
The judge decided to put him nicely in his place,
The mind , clean he must keep,
Daily the hospital he must sweep,
Such an appropriate sentence by the judge in this case .....




Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The Genetic Anger

Do you get often angry? It is attributed to a gene called DARRP-32 says Hindustan Times news.

Some get angry and some straight face
We knew always what that was the case
It's in the genes, they said it
'DARRP-Thitytwo' is the culprit,
Angry? Thank dad, mom and your race!

Friday, May 1, 2009

Election of Frogs....


Gov solution to dengue: Feed mosquitoes to frogs (LINK)

International studies have concluded that frogs are in no way effective in containing the mosquito population in the country. Delhi State health department may ship frogs from UP and Haryana.




Some folks in Haryana must be tickled pink,
They've convinced the Delhi government to think,
Who cares what anyone thinks of it,
Their frog farms will earn a profit,
As for the polluted Yamuna. It can just stink....



Dengue and malaria, your life goes to the dogs,
These mosquitoes are supposedly mithai to the frogs,
If you see a frog watching you,
Next time you use the loo,
Its just relaxing after all the insects it hogs



But scientists imply that frogs believe in caste,
These dengue type mosquitoes by them are bypassed,
Yet as a sop across the Delhi border,
The frogs will still be put on Order,
And sense and science will be totally outclassed......