Thursday, August 22, 2013

The Unhappy Ass

It's such a shame said the ass
That humans so utterly crass
Are called by my name
How can they think I look the same
As an uncouth, lumpen mass?



Saturday, April 6, 2013

Neuro Linguistic Programming in Toilet, Andy Murray Style

Read Andy's Story on Toilet pep talk here http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2013/mar/30/andy-murray-toilet-us-open


The Brit tennis player Andy Murray
Was losing his game, never heard ‘Hurray’
He ran to toilet, we don’t know what he was doing
They say he tried Neuro Linguistic Programming
And bang he won, now he goes there thrice a day!

Vivek

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Salvatorian Encounters

My blogger friend Vivek Patwardhan recently visited Sri Lanka to celebrate his anniversary, as well as to try out his new camera. While on the Madhu Boat Safari, an unexpected creature was sighted by the boatman as they cleared the mangroves. 

While the boat executed a filmy Bollywood style quick complete turn, amidst exclamations and "EEEEks", Vivek kept on clicking and saying "Varanous Salvatore" to himself  several times.  A fancy Zooological name for what the boatman called Water Monitor. According to Vivek's Zoological memories, this creature is a carnivore.

Here's what actually happened .....

(Click here to see some more pics  and read Vivek's blogpost)

(photo by Vivek Patwardhan)
A Class Reptilia Varanous Salvatore,
Watching these two walking on the shore,
Saw the lady in great admiration
As her husband yelled in agitation,
"Run, run, this fellow is a carnivore...."

But she smiled, and said "How cool, how cool!,
There is always an exception to any Zoologic rule,
Since it's a photo you seek
I'm willing to scream "Eeeek"
But the eyes of the fellow simply make me drool"....

So he stopped treating the chap as an adversary,
Floated right on, giving him glances cursory,
And Salvatore went back home,
In a splash of silver foam,
He had simply wanted to say "Happy Anniversary !"

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Casanova's Gold



Promoter of crisis-ridden Kingfisher Airlines and UB Group Chairman Vijay Mallya made an offering of gold bricks, weighing about three kg, at the famous hill shrine of Lord Venkateswara on his 58th birthday. Link

Vijay Mallya, the illustrious Vittal's son
Was a casanova and romeo rolled in one
For atonement, he offered gold
As he grew fiftyeight years old
When girls left him saying there was no more fun!

Vivek

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Sweet but Problematic

There was a young woman who was diabetic
She ate well and avoided exercise hectic
She ate a lot of ice-cream n cherry
"Oh, Life is all about making merry"
Her doctor diagnosed her 'sweet but problematic.' 

Vivek

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Scam Bank

The secret is now open wide,
So many with so much to hide,
An amazing erruption
The stories of Corruption
And how so-and-so cheated and lied.

Cheating in land and cheating on Games,
Cheating in airwaves, and mining claims,
Behaving true to form
Blatant lying is the norm,
You oppose and your career goes up in flames.

Why not we  define a Scam Cooperative Bank
All scam stuff recovered will be money in the tank,
No tolerating nonsense
No sitting on the fence
And no one signing on cheques that are blank...

It's time our citizen's  needs are heeded,
So many million toilets for all are needed,
Roads, medicines and schools,
Will no longer suffer fools,
And its time the women were better treated

And as the head of the bank, appoint a set of three,
One woman,a senior citizen, and a lawyer who works free;
Dont forget  a few MUSTS,
Refuse loans to all Trusts,
And tell others , things will not be interest free....

Glare at the Netas, bar politicians at the door,
They will abuse, but then they are rotten to the core,
But there's a slight quirk,
Some folks must really work,
To create scams , so the bank gets funded more and more...

Monday, November 5, 2012

The Reluctant Dahlia


My friend Deepak Amembal has a Magiceye.  He recently went on a visit to Kanatal  in the Western Himalayas , and tried to click this Dahlia on one of his walks.

What can  I say. She simply turned her face away.......  :-(

I dont blame the dahlia. Must be unnerving to have several people with black contraptions peering and looking   at her , when normally,  people simply pass her by in the daily course of events.




Dahlias are not known to be shy,
This one is, and I wonder why.
She gives a glance quick,
And a fellow goes Click,
That's it. She turns away. Goodbye.