The Lazy Old Woman

There was an old woman so lazy
She drove everyone utterly crazy
She loved to just lie
And kept heaving many a sigh
She ate so much her mind was completely hazy


This old woman complained of pain
People tried to get her to work, but in vain
She had backache and headache
Neckache and tummyache
Till they all concluded what she had was brain sprain

They sent the old woman to Connecticut
But there she had to live in a hut
For she had no money
It certainly was not funny
When everyone took her for a nut

So she thought she'd get off her butt
And herself some slack she'd cut
She married an old man
Who looked utterly wan
She thought she'd get out of the rut

One day her family her spied
As false tears she shed and she cried
She was plush with piles of money
And had all her fingers in honey
For recently her rich husband had died

Now the family forgave her
And oh did the old woman purr
Now she had a luxurious home
With enough money to roam
But they'd not get any of it she made clear