Simmering Trouble

Shabana Azmi has decided to learn cooking, she says on her sixtieth birthday. [Link]

The beautiful dame Shabana Azmi,
Is sixty [and naughty], says her mummy!
She is learning to cook,
With a Tarla Dalal book,
Why is Javed in tears? Can you tell me?
 
Vivek

In keeping with the Games mess.....

World chess champion Vishwanathan Anand denied honorary doctorate by Delhi Bureaucracy.


They are so good at shutting their eyes,
Ignoring crimes and remain deaf to lies,
Crooked types are praised
Scamsters given a raise,
And decent people are rudely cut down to size




The country's HR ministry has to be blind,
The men who decide cant apply their mind,
Insulting Champions in Chess,
Vishwanathan Anand, no less,
They thought his passport was a non-Indian kind...

Honor his brilliance,and his great dedication,
The International Conference, was a fitting occasion,
But oneupmanship and politics,
Kickbacks and front kicks,
Have made the MHRD, the laughing stock of the nation.

For "some" with European passports, we scrape and we bow,
Useless netas are given fancy doctorates , and how !
But this one they peruse,
I think some screw must be loose
Anands passport is Indian, it doesnt matter what's his "gaon"

Are we honoring his abilities, or the passport he does hold,
Can the govt take decisions, quick, innovative and bold?
Let Universities decide,
let Knowledege be the guide,
Politics plays NO part, and the government must be clearly told.

Democracy in action

The Salary of Indian Members of Parliament (MPs) has been hiked by 300%, by passing a separate Bill . See this


"What will you be when you grow up ?", she asked
He thought ,scratched his head, and blurted at last,
"IT, and Medicine are passe, you see,
The thing to be now is actually an MP,
No work, just sit, shout, run, and a pension after 5 years have passed"

20k, each month, for an office to set up,
Another 20k pm so your constituents shut up,
Rs 1000 "only" per session per day,
8 air trips for the spouse, govt. to pay,
You sit on the backbench at indulge in gupshup....

You fall sick, you get first class medical care,
You don't pay a paisa for anything while there,
All those sick needy folks in line,
Must know I'm getting what's mine
I don't control all those germs in their air.....

For exercise you run to the Parliament floor,
Tear papers, threaten , and walk out through the door,
And of course its well known
You can fling the microphone,
And every few years, crib and shout, "I want more!"

Malai Statin Koftaas

A doctor from Imperial College London whose study was published in the American Journal of Cardiology has proclaimed that people who eat burgers and milkshakes at fast food restaurants should be given free statin drugs (like ketchup packets) to counteract the cholesterol effects of eating burgers.

British Scientists say, serve fast food with a twist,
A serving of statin pills, in case you have missed,
So all you girls and guys
Gorge on the meat and fries,
You will grace the Pharma company's annual honors list

If the West decrees it, how can we be left behind ?
Statin stuffed malai koftaas on your plate you then find,
Statin studded mutton,
and chicken for a glutton,
Crushed statins pizza, mixed with cheese, if you don't mind....

The ill effects of statins just might make you shiver,
The taker must be careful, regardless of who 's the giver,
Hurting muscles and joints,
Are rhabdomyolosis points,
And the first to get messed up will be your precious liver...

Daal bhaat, chapati sabji, is still the meal of choice,
Despite all this research and pharma sponsored noise,
With koshimbir on the side,
Dahi along for the ride,
Will raise a generation of healthy girls and boys....

Ganpati Bappa Morya !

"We can't let gods become share traders:" : Bombay High Court

The Bombay high court on Friday denied gods permission to dabble in the share market.

"Sign here", said the bank, "YOU must be new in the city",
"What proof can YOU present to us of your OWN identity ?"
And HE said, "Ask if you must",
"But just wait till August,"
"Donations in MY name, and the parties fill their kitty..."

"The Lord must hold securities, mutual finds and shares,"
HE will speculate in addition to showing folks that he cares,
So they tried really hard,
And got HIM a PAN card,
And then looked for demat accounts, singly and in pairs....

The Lord on Dalal Street, moved around by an investing man,
Signing on HIS behalf,getting as presumptious as he can,
A bench of judges two,
Said we trust HIM but not you,
Just pray to HIM in temples, and try getting some gyaan....

The judges' ruling is clear, there are no but's and if's,
You really cant pay interest to ONE who HIMself gives,
He doesn't need movable assets
This is as easy as it gets,
It's in our hearts and minds that he actually lives....

Is Aal well ?

This limerick was written as a comment on a wonderful limericked post by Neha, a parody on , what else, politicians.




You hobnob with crooks, bend at the waist,
No time to repent, but you must acquire in haste,
Nothing less than crores,
They sure open doors,
Power corrupts and blinds, and you enjoy the taste....




To the highest bidder yourself you sell,
Everyone else can slowly slide into hell,
4 sons, 5 cars and a plane,
Nothing to lose , So much to gain
And today , Aal is well, aal is well, aal is well.....

A shameful verdict

One Bhopal tragedy happened 25 years ago. Another one happened recently when the court gave its shameful ruling.





IPL lafda ? Must rush and protect your own,
A politician ? You can always default on a loan,
But if Union Carbide
Took you on a tragic ride,
You'll suffer as the law strips you right to the bone..

An abused body and future for 25 long years,
An Alzheimerish government, fanning our fears,
They hope you forget,
And the court is all set,
We continue to suffer and crooks get two years......