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 Sunbirds, bulbuls and tailorbirds

Their calls I'm sure you've often heard

In my balcony they sing

Dance and flap their wings

My sanity in bad times they've preserved

Corona Blues

 Cough, sneeze, fever

The very thought makes me shiver

Do you think, my dear friend,

Corona will ever end?

If you ask me, I'd say 'Never'

The Unhappy Ass

It's such a shame said the ass
That humans so utterly crass
Are called by my name
How can they think I look the same
As an uncouth, lumpen mass?

Neuro Linguistic Programming in Toilet, Andy Murray Style

Read Andy's Story on Toilet pep talk here http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2013/mar/30/andy-murray-toilet-us-open

The Brit tennis player Andy Murray

Was losing his game, never heard ‘Hurray’

He ran to toilet, we don’t know what he was doing

They say he tried Neuro Linguistic Programming

And bang he won, now he goes there thrice a day!

Vivek

Salvatorian Encounters

My blogger friend Vivek Patwardhan recently visited Sri Lanka to celebrate his anniversary, as well as to try out his new camera. While on the Madhu Boat Safari, an unexpected creature was sighted by the boatman as they cleared the mangroves. 

While the boat executed a filmy Bollywood style quick complete turn, amidst exclamations and "EEEEks", Vivek kept on clicking and saying "Varanous Salvatore" to himself  several times.  A fancy Zooological name for what the boatman called Water Monitor. According to Vivek's Zoological memories, this creature is a carnivore.

Here's what actually happened .....

(Click here to see some more pics  and read Vivek's blogpost)

(photo by Vivek Patwardhan)

A Class Reptilia Varanous Salvatore,
Watching these two walking on the shore,
Saw the lady in great admiration
As her husband yelled in agitation,
"Run, run, this fellow is a carnivore...."

But she smiled, and said "How cool, how cool!,
There is always an exception to any Zoologic rule,
Since it's a photo you seek
I'm willing to scream "Eeeek"
But the eyes of the fellow simply make me drool"....

So he stopped treating the chap as an adversary,
Floated right on, giving him glances cursory,
And Salvatore went back home,
In a splash of silver foam,
He had simply wanted to say "Happy Anniversary !"

Casanova's Gold

Promoter of crisis-ridden Kingfisher Airlines and UB Group Chairman Vijay Mallya made an offering of gold bricks, weighing about three kg, at the famous hill shrine of Lord Venkateswara on his 58th birthday. Link

Vijay Mallya, the illustrious Vittal's son
Was a casanova and romeo rolled in one
For atonement, he offered gold
As he grew fiftyeight years old
When girls left him saying there was no more fun!

Vivek

Sweet but Problematic

There was a young woman who was diabetic

She ate well and avoided exercise hectic

She ate a lot of ice-cream n cherry

"Oh, Life is all about making merry"

Her doctor diagnosed her 'sweet but problematic.' 

Vivek

Scam Bank

The secret is now open wide,
So many with so much to hide,
An amazing erruption
The stories of Corruption
And how so-and-so cheated and lied.

Cheating in land and cheating on Games,
Cheating in airwaves, and mining claims,
Behaving true to form
Blatant lying is the norm,
You oppose and your career goes up in flames.

Why not we  define a Scam Cooperative Bank
All scam stuff recovered will be money in the tank,
No tolerating nonsense
No sitting on the fence
And no one signing on cheques that are blank...

It's time our citizen's  needs are heeded,
So many million toilets for all are needed,
Roads, medicines and schools,
Will no longer suffer fools,
And its time the women were better treated

And as the head of the bank, appoint a set of three,
One woman,a senior citizen, and a lawyer who works free;
Dont forget  a few MUSTS,
Refuse loans to all Trusts,
And tell others , things will not be interest free....

Glare at the Netas, bar politicians at the door,
They will abuse, but then they are rotten to the core,
But there's a slight quirk,
Some folks must really work,
To create scams , so the bank gets funded more and more...

The Reluctant Dahlia

My friend Deepak Amembal has a Magiceye.  He recently went on a visit to Kanatal  in the Western Himalayas , and tried to click this Dahlia on one of his walks.

What can  I say. She simply turned her face away.......  :-(

I dont blame the dahlia. Must be unnerving to have several people with black contraptions peering and looking   at her , when normally,  people simply pass her by in the daily course of events.

Dahlias are not known to be shy,
This one is, and I wonder why.
She gives a glance quick,
And a fellow goes Click,
That's it. She turns away. Goodbye.

The Opportunity in Calamity

Prithviraj Chavan, the gentleman Chief Minister
Could not do much with deputies sinister
They faced people's ire
When their office was on fire
That's the only way to oust them, it's not a disaster

Vivek

Love for Cricket

Cricket is a religion in India, everyone knows that.

Sachin is God - it is a 'taken for granted' fact

He scored his 100th ton,

Still the match wasn't won,

But he won the hearts of millions with superb batting act.

And yesterday's encounter was the biggest of all

India played Pakistan, the chasing target was tall.

Yet we managed to win

Kohli had the widest grin

For scoring a ton and causing Pak bowlers' fall.

Our country is one crazy cricket loving nation.

Cricket is our love, life, addiction and passion.

It's not just a sport,

and the words fall short

To describe our love for this "close to life" action.

Rummy Excuses

Oh this blog looks pretty glum

Missing the regular hum

Of friends sharing their minds

You ask me why i don't share mine?

Well, it has been fattened on cakes containing plum.

Does my excuse sound really rum?
Well i do have to give you some
Don't want to admit to a total lack
Of ideas for fear of flack
But the fact remains: No ideas come

Fast Insult

We read history but never learn from the past,
We continue to play politics of votes,money and caste
The Mahatma we don't follow,
Our declarations are so hollow,
We've made a mockery of the reason Gandhiji did a fast

He did it always to atone for violence of body and mind,
He was respected so much, The British some rules would rescind,
Maun, prayer and fasting,
The result was long lasting,
No shamianas, no blaring PA system, and no speeches of any kind

Our rulers are so crooked, now little of that ethos endures,
You commit whatever sins you want and fasts are now the cures,
Parties call each other names,
Strive to come in camera frames,
And it is then all about proving "My fast is better than yours"....

Shameless, Pointless....

They are here, the ordinary citizens "to serve",
To say that, with pious faces, they have the nerve,
Then to show us who's the boss,
They acquire a z-plus police posse,
And all 'service" goes for a toss, as I observe...

No terror investigations, have resulted in arrests,
The ones caught, then treated as State Prison Guests
Its almost like a spoof,
Ordering jackets bullet proof,
And the vendor is decided without meaningful tests.

Who cares about the injured? your "statement" is supreme,
In the glare of TV lights, you visit hospitals with the team,
A patient's path blocked; never mind,
Think of the visuals you leave behind,
In such times, your "concern" should be judged as extreme ...

Our representatives, give lectures and adjourn for the day,
To avoid embarrassing questions, in Parliament ,some say,
In the face of this legislative "shirk"
Lawyers,judges, all get back to work,
The work must continue, no blasts can come in their way...

It seems intelligence was received by police in July,
Why were those suspects not monitored since then, why ?
Then sudden progress in a single day,
Exponentially reducing out day by day,
Lots of talk, no arrests, and the common man can just die ?

shameless

You need to be super smart to manipulate zeros,
Overinvoicing and sharing spoils, makes you heroes,
Those hungry can just shout,
Because you've got the clout,
And you fiddle with their lives and money like Neroes.

Women in villages, get burnt for showing resistance,
No security there, but for you, Z-plus on insistence,
There are schools, but no teacher,
I wonder what kind of creature,
Like you,charges money for transfers,with much persistence

Poverty stricken crorepaties, exhibiting an odd old car,
But the public pays for petrol, so it takes them so far,
Its not at all to your credit
The nation's treasury you debit,
And smile at each other saying,"Aisa hota hai, yaar"!

With false populist promises you acquire their farm,
Selling it for profit to builders becomes your kaam,
What isn't so very funny
Is the color of acquired money
For "Daney daney par likha hota hai 'khane' wale ka naam"

Poor Ministers Declare Wealth

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh and his cabinet ministers on Saturday declared their assets which were posted online, officials said. [Link]



There was a Minister who declared his wealth
People said his work was just full of stealth
He said he owned an old car
And a house just next to bazar
The swiss banker remained silent with whom he dealt!


Vivek

THE ANNUAL MONSOON PASS-THE-BUCK GAME

Rain, rain don't go away,

Mumbai doesn't mind either way,

Everybody still comes to work and play.

Even though it rains night and day.

Stuck in puddles, caught in muddles

The BMC blames the tide

The road contractors choose to hide

Let the ministers decide

Who is the culprit? What's his name?

Monsoon depression? High tide? Amavas? Who will win this blame-game?

No Title, No sense, No solution

The confusion around me in making me giddy
It seems that these days it is useless to study
The "choice" job you see,
Is to actually be an MP.
Where people love to pay you for being their "buddy"

Bank balances from thousands bloom into crores,
Its boom time for you and those you call yours,
You get a huge commission
for clearing a permission,
And those who don't pay are just shown the doors

You wonder what I am trying to say, wait, don't frown,
Corruption, always is learnt , from the top, down,
That's why they are so fussy
On not including lower bureaucracy,
Bribe is not just a verb, but a very massive noun.

Concept of Parliament is supreme, not those inside,
So many gutless elected folks, with so much to hide
Quoting procedure to save face,
Not one of them has any grace,
And not one has ventured to Ramlila to the old man's side....

Badam-Pista Iftaars,the ruling party folks getting bolder,
Keep fibbing to the fasting man, now 11 days and older..
Party spokesman should shut up
The common man is fed up,
The 74 year old Shravan Bal, carries now, the country on his shoulder....

Of an Old Man and Politicians

There was an old man who was frail
But did lots to boost national morale
He wanted to root out corruption
That didn't go down with the politicians
So they did what they could - sent him to jail

Just as the daylight began to pale
They thought to get him out of the jail
But the old man refused
Leaving the politicians bemused
He let the wind out of their sails


I think he prefers to stay in jail
Rather than come out on bail
For he has national sympathy
And international empathy
I hope this saga ends well

Memory Gain - Sequel!

This is Satchi's sequel to my post 'Memory Gain.' It is so well written that I have copied and pasted it as a post so that it can be seen by all.

So Dolly asked rather coyly
Can you tell me who is this Molly?
How dare you flirt around
When to me you are legally bound
And indulge in behaviour unholy?

She knocked him hard on his head
For many days he was laid up in bed
'Twas a good thing that she did do
For when he eventually came to
He finally remembered whom he had wed


-Satchi